Dad

I had an awesome conversation with my dad this morning.

He was reading a book about the the history and culture of the intertestamental period while I was transferring some files to my computer and we just started talking. I asked him what the book was about and my new-believing dad's eyes lit up as he explained to me the beauty of the unity of the Old and New Testaments. He was talking with his hands, he was smiling, and there was this sense of awe in his eyes and all I could do was sit there and smile. Apparently this book he was reading was one that he is now reading for the third time or so, but he said that now he can fully understand the connection of the OT and NT. "100%" is the expression he used.

He talked a lot about how the Bible never made any sense when he used to go to church about 15-20 years ago. He was always baffled about how the Old Testament and New Testament could be talking about the same God, and he never received a satisfying answer until now. He shared that he was "lucky" that certain events took place at the perfect time to allow him to come to a point where he could finally catch a glimpse of the perfection of God.

Then we talked about pastors. My dad shared how it absolutely blows his mind how difficult it must be to be a pastor. To be someone who preaches with absolute conviction and it's not enough for the pastor to understand certain truths, he has to relay them to mass of people consisting of lives in various stages and circumstances. He encouraged me to be a pastor of integrity, one who would be committed to preaching the Truth and showing people a glimpse of who God really is as He reveals himself through His Word.

That was the first time my dad ever encouraged me in my calling to be a pastor. It's quite spectacular.

I've been praying for my dad to come to believe the Almighty God since I was 7 and now at 22 I am finally able to have a real conversation with him. Our relationship is being redeemed. It's quite glorious how God answers prayers.

I must say, I was very impressed by some of the things he had to say. I can tell that he has been reflecting a lot on the Word, and he has much wisdom from his 50 years or so of living.
I guess there is much to learn from my dad afterall.

"When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished by how much he'd learned in seven years." - Mark Twain

Highlight Reel of My Summer (Thus Far)

It's been a little over a month since the last day of my college career and so much has happened already. I don't have the time nor the patience to write out every detail but here are the highlights. I'll try to fill in details for the main events later.

I. Journey into Manhood

The transition from college into the real world came to me in the form of a 2000+ mile roadtrip from Palos Heights, IL to Fullerton, CA. It involved (in no particular order) my bro Drew, his beautiful Iowa with hills that just glowed in the sunset, Pizza Ranch, Man-talks (Real-talks), getting sick, passing it on to friends, lonesome driving, admiring the Rockies, free lodging in friends' homes, meeting their families, Legos, Luther, creepy rest-stops, creepier gas stations, energy drinks, a starry night, shooting stars, and so much more but most importantly, plenty of time for reflecting on God's faithfulness. I know this jumbled up list of words doesn't say much, but the Chris Lee that stepped out of his car in front of his parents apartment was not the same Chris Lee that stepped into his jampacked car that one Monday morning. (Details to come later).

II. NEXT Conference (PCA Retreat)

I was blessed with the opportunity to serve at a church retreat as a counselor and drummer for the praise team, and it is incredible how much God has opened my eyes to see that He is sufficient. Of all the retreats I've played drums for, this has to have been the least organized, and it was really a challenge. There was not a single set where we were fully prepared, but during those times I witnessed God filling in the cracks of our weaknesses as I watched His worship transcend our musical shortcomings. It really put things into perspective. I was truly humbled as I realized that I had the arrogance to think that I could easily produce music for worshipping the Almighty God. No, God glorifies Himself, and it is only by His grace that we are blessed with the joy of being a part of it. 

Serving as a counselor was a very new experience for me. I was blessed with a group of guys who were honest and open and it was quite a sight to see them struggle, overcome those struggles by the grace of God, and to see them filled with joy that only God can bring. As we all shared the things that we struggled with, I was surprised by how I was able to relate with each of them with my own struggles of the past and those with which I still wrestle, but for the first time, I was able to see how God could use some of my darkest and most shameful life events for the benefit of his Kingdom as he used them to reach out to the guys and to open them up. As I have overcome many of the struggles these guys were dealing with, I so desperately wanted to point them to Jesus, the solution to all our problems. 

So I'm realizing that this really isn't much of a highlight reel...it's very long already and I've spent a considerable amount of time working on this tonight. It scares me to think how long this would be if I wrote out all the details I wanted to write, but hopefully I'll go back to fill in the gaps some day, at least for the significant moments. But...

III. Summer School

I've been working at a summer school program at church (NCA) and we are just into our second week of our 6-week program. I've thoroughly enjoyed it and am once again blessed with very respectful middle-school students who are diligent. This being a leader/teacher thing is kinda nice, especially when the kids listen to you and I hope to grow in that aspect so I can be used effectively by God when I become a pastor. 

...I realize this is very dry. I did not even put effort into trying to be clever or funny, because I have been so preoccupied with the daunting task of simply putting my thoughts into writing. But, if anything this is for me to remember what God has been doing in my life, and I will work harder to make my entries more appealing. But for now, I'm glad that God is holding my hand as I take the babysteps into the spiritual discipline of remembering what He has done and is doing in me. 

Joy

My Dad accepted Christ! The joy is indescribable.

Eye to Eye

My eyes are bad.

They have gotten significantly worse within the past two years and I am starting to grow dependent on my glasses. This bugs me for several reasons. First of all, I don't really like the way I look with them on. What can I say...I just look in the mirror and don't like what I see. But that's secondary. My diminishing eyesight has taken a toll on my social life. That's the real problem.

It is only by the grace of God that I have friends. I love getting to know new people and making friends, but I'm not too good at it. If I could pinpoint the exact problems I would try to fix them, but I can't. But I do know that this eye problem is making my sociability worse than it already is.

I. Identification
I meet new people pretty regularly, and for me regularly is like once every 2 weeks or so. But the problem comes in that I meet someone, and then when I run into them again the next day, I fail to recognize them. Sometimes it's because I never got a good look at their face the first time, so of course I won't be able to identify them if I saw them again. But usually it's because peoples' faces have been blurs to me lately.

So let's say I was at my school snack shop. I walk over to fill up my cup with water and pass a couple people on the way, and to me these people are blurs. Then because I drank that water, and because I probably have homework to avoid doing, I get up again to go to the bathroom and pass by the same couple people. And then on the way back from the bathroom, I finally notice that among those blurry faces, there's one that I had recently met. But now I look like one of those jerks that don't say hi to people (Like those guys who always have white earbuds or a bluetooth in their ear with sunglass headbands). At that point, I start to panic and analyze the situation. I see the person avoiding eye contact. He/She must have tried to make eye contact the previous two trips and I probably brushed them off like I think I'm some cool cat. Now, if they're avoiding eye contact, I have to resort to shouting out their name to get their attention. At that point I don't know what's worse..."weirdo who refuses to say 'hi'" or "weirdo who refuses to say 'hi' and then changes his mind and shouts out your name in front of all your friends who I don't know." Usually I'm walking while this whole thought process is going through my head, and by the time I come up with a decision to try to say "hi" I'm already back at my table. So I hang my head and eat my chicken tenders.

Also, because these faces are blurs to me, it takes a little longer for me to focus on someone's face. So then I come off as staring, when all I'm really trying to do is identify the person. But when people catch me staring into their faces...regardless of what the reason is...it's creepy. I'm well aware.

II. Mix-ups
Another problem I face is falsely identifying people. I'll mix up people all the time. I'd be walking to class and I see someone and think, "Hey, that's my friend!" So I start to raise my hand to wave and then I realize I have never seen that person in my life. Ruh-roh! So now I look like a fool smiling and waving at a perfect stranger. I mean, if I were suave, I could go with the flow and make it seem like I'm just one of those nice guys that smile and say hi to everyone, but usually in these scenarios I have this confused, awkward, embarrassed look on my face, and it can't be pleasant to look at, especially to strangers.

One time I was at the cafeteria for breakfast and saw this girl that looked exactly like one of my friends, at least with my eyes she looked exactly the same from behind. So this girl was minding her own business, making herself a waffle and I walked up to her, thinking she was my friend, and straight up jabbed my finger into her back. I thought it would be funny. And it was. For my other two friends who were standing there watching me as this girl turned around and turned out to be another perfect stranger. I just stood there in shock, and all I could say was, "Wow, you're not Manda." And then I walked away. One more weirdo point for me.

So when these mixups happen enough times, I become so paranoid that I just don't initiate greetings anymore. I just wait for people to greet me first. At least that way I can't wrongly greet people, right? Nope. Sometimes people will wave at me or say "hi" to me from afar and I have no idea who they are. 7 out of 10 times I'll do the turnaround to make sure there's no one behind me, so I don't look like the idiot monkey in the middle. So even then, I'm not safe.

III. Courtvision
Another area where my poor eyesight has affected my social life is on the basketball court. I love playing basketball, but lately my courtvision has been pretty much nonexistent. I'd run around and passes would hit me in the face, because I don't see the ball coming. I won't be able to see my teammates vividly, so naturally I don't pass as much. Rather I can't pass effectively. So that makes me a ballhog. And in basketball, that is the most antisocial thing you can be/do. Look at Kobe. When his team was winning championships, his teammates told interviewers that Kobe wouldn't go out to celebrate with the team, and that he didn't get along too well with anyone. Maybe he has bad eyes too. Or maybe he's just a ballhog.


So I have identified the problems, and I've been working on them. Well obviously, I've realized that I need to wear my glasses more, and I should probably invest in some contacts.

Also Facebook is a great resource. It has become the most casual way of connecting with people. Once friended, you can look at each others' pages and give each other background checks. But more importantly, there are pictures. When I'm determined to remember faces and a names, I'll run through profile pictures like flashcards.

Now these are all good 'n all, but I think the best thing I've got is...to stop caring what people think of me. Yeah. It finally sank in as I wrote all this out, but yeah...that's the way to go.

Praise God for blogging.